xpda.com Terms of Use

November 3, 2010


This Agreement sets forth the terms and conditions that apply to your access and use of the Internet Web site located at xpda.com, as owned and operated by whoever happens to own and operate it, on behalf of those of its direct or indirect subsidiaries and/or affiliates, (collectively referred to as "bob"). By breathing in a regular fashion, you agree to be bound by the terms and conditions of this Agreement and Bob's Privacy and Security Policy, as they may be amended from time to time in the future.

1. Accepting the Terms

By using the information, tools, features and functionality located on xpda.com (together the "Service"), you agree to be bound by this Agreement, whether you are from earth, from an outlying planet, or from outside the solar system. The term "you" or "User" refers to a human, alien, or politician. The term "we" refers to Bob.

You may not use the Service and you may not accept this Agreement if you are not of a legal age to form a binding contract with Bob, unless you want to, in which case you can as far as Bob is concerned.

If you accept this Agreement, you represent that you have the mental capacity of a snail or better, unless you are acting on behalf of a company or entity, in which case you are merely required to have the delusional authority to bind such entity. Before you continue, you should print a local copy of this Agreement and have it framed.

2. Terms

The terms of this web site are those of fluid dynamics, such as barotropic, incompressible, irrotational, and laminar. Furthermore, the terms of this site shall include run-time complexity, indeterministic, superpolynomial, and sub-exponential. Notwithstanding the above, the term of this Agreement shall always be less than 2.7 nanoseconds and greater than 3 days. Having read thus far, you are highly likely to have certain social limitations and intellectual disabilities, and should fit in appropriately.

3. Access

You agree that you will not:

1. Use any robot, spider, scraper, deep link or other similar automated data gathering or extraction tools, program, algorithm or methodology to access, acquire, copy or monitor xpda.com or any portion of xpda.com, without using a digital computing device for said access, acquisition, copying, or monitoring.

2. Use or attempt to use any engine, software, tool, agent, or other device or mechanism (including without limitation browsers, spiders, robots, avatars or intelligent agents) to navigate or search xpda.com from outside the solar system of earth, unless said search engines and search agents are generally available third-party web browsers such as Mosaic.

3. Attempt to decipher, decompile, disassemble, or reverse-engineer any of the software comprising or in any way making up a part of xpda.com, unless said deciphering, decompilation, dissassemby, or reverse-engineering seems interesting to you.

4. Termination

This Agreement will continue to apply until terminated by either you or Bob as set out below. If you wish to terminate this legal agreement with Bob, you may do so by imagining such termination in any conscious or semi-conscious state of mind, with or without the aid of prescribed or recreational pharmaceuticals. Bob may terminate this agreement solely on a whim.